Illegitimate longings can land us in deep trouble if left unchecked. 2 Samuel 13
The account of Amnon’s desire for his brother Absalom’s sister, Tamar, is such an example. He was lovesick for Tamar and it was noticed by his friend Jonadab, ‘a very shrewd man’. Amnon explained his dilemma and Jonadab suggested a ruse for Amnon to see Tamar. He pretended to be ill and when his father, King David, visited him, he asked that Tamar be sent to make him some food. The trick worked and Tamar was sent to his house to feed him as he’d requested. From the outset Amnon used lies and trickery, suggested by Jonadab, to have Tamar sent to his house. Just because a scheme gets us what we desire, doesn’t mean it’s valid. There’s much scheming and plotting in our world, but someday God will call Time on it all.
7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: ‘Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.’ 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
Amnon never wanted the bread Tamar made for him, he desired Tamar herself and she was alone in his house.
‘Send everyone out of here,’ Amnon said. So everyone left him…11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, ‘Come to bed with me, my sister.’
Tamar resisted and told Amnon to ask the King for her hand in marriage, but he wouldn’t wait and so he forced himself on her.
12 ‘No, my brother!’ she said to him. ‘Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing… Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.’ 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
Tamar should never have been alone with Amnon, but she’d obeyed King David’s command. A shrewd man had devised a scheme and unfortunately David hadn’t seen the danger to Tamar. This incident was the start of God’s judgement on David for the illicit taking of Bathsheba and killing Uriah, her husband. Now Amnon, another member of his house had committed a similar sin and David was unwittingly part of it.
As soon as Amnon had taken Tamar, he didn’t want her anymore.
15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’
Amnon threw her out of his house, he no longer wanted her. How fickle our feelings can be, full of desire one minute and loathing the next. How many times this has happened in relationships today. That’s the reason why people getting married in church have to verbally commit to each other in public and before God. We live in a society that has been corrupted in many areas, but God’s love still reaches out to help us.
May we find His love and forgiveness in our lives today.